SO... WHAT DO WE DO NEXT?
We're opening up our country and community slowly, and steadily...or are we?
There's lots of conflicting information to process, and certainly some normal fear and anxiety, even as we begin to slowly "open up". It's normal to wonder what is the "right" response. That response is different for everyone. Even those who were eager to get back to normal are confused sometimes about the variety of feelings they are experiencing. This can,include higher anxiety than anticipated about doing more "normal" things..going to the beach, a restaurant if allowed, being in groups.
The news is not often as helpful as we'd like. Even though we probably recognize that too much news can have a negative effect on us all, it can be hard to turn it off. Every therapist I know, myself included, says try to "consume" news in small doses, as too much can not only be overwhelming, but it can accelerate feelings of confusion, grief, and those BIG FEELINGS. For many of us, it can be VERY hard to turn it off, though.
One thing that can help is to recognize how our brains work, and how we want to try to process and compartmentalize information. Our brains are wired, particularly in a traumatic situation like this one, to process the information we need to survive. Remember that old "hierarchy effects" chart. Right now, we are in survival mode--trying to figure out basic things--do we have enough food, what's going on with our job, are we safe. Processing at a higher level is a bit harder. For now. Not for always.
That's why when we turn on the news and we are flooded with a ton of conflicting information, we can feel MAJORLY stressed. It's not even that people are arguing and debating and challenging each other on a variety of topics--which gratefully I will not elaborate on here.
It's just that the information is changing, by necessity to some extent as we can more information, and remember, EVERYONE, yes even the pandemic experts and leaders, are experiencing trauma. So no one is on their best game.
Thus, confusion, and anger. It's not always easy for those who are seeking to gain information to help them make decisions, but, turn off the news, especially if you have it on constantly. Most people find it helpful to check the news once or twice a day--morning and evening. The constant barrage of information can be disheartening. Get outside, take a walk, and consider not engaging in debate about Corona Issues with those who have a different perspective. This can be hard, and I say this personally and professionally.
As our Nation begins to open up, we still have many questions. Are we opening too soon? Not soon enough? There are irritations and bigger arguments. It can be helpful to remember that these responses all flow from a comment thread---it is grief. Grief is a normal response to any change or loss. In terms of what is happening with our nation and in our communities right now we are experiencing grief in the following ways:
Loss of routine
Loss of intangibles
Loss of dreams, hopes, and things that are a normal (and important) part of life):
Weddings, graduations, vacations.
Even in our own therapeutic riding community there are so many losses and changes, as we contemplate what "opening up" will look like. We are eager to see our friends, and yet the process is more deliberate, (and certainly slower, unfortunately) to accommodate safety, than we all would like.
And yet we press forward, and we will get through.
Sometimes if we just give voice to what we are feeling, we can find some comfort and peace. What if, instead of saying, "I'm fine", we said, "Today is a bit of a tough day, thanks for asking." As we give voice to feelings, we take away some of their power.
Your friends at the Cheff Center wish you a peaceful day, whether it is a tough day, an "okay" day, or a really good one. As we make plans to begin the reopening process, we join with all of our community in saying, " each day, we just breathe, taking it one step at a time".
We will grieve, and from that grief comes hope in our new beginnings. We will see you soon!
Sincerely,
Cheff Center Staff.